Saying
goodbye to our youth in Candelaria was one of the hardest things I've ever had
to do. In fact, if Nicaragua had been my last stop on the Race, I just wouldn't
have come home. My heart is just completely broken over leaving them! I cried
more times in our last three days there than I can count and almost the entire
bus ride from Nicaragua to El Salvador. I know the Lord is taking care of our
kids. I already see Him rising up others to disciple these precious kids, but
my heart longs to just stay with them, love them, and disciple them.
I
sat on a bus, with tears streaming down my face, telling the Lord, "I just
don't have the strength to do this. I don't have the strength to love this
deeply every month and hurt this much at the end of each month!" Yes you do.
I will increase your capacity to love. "Well then what if I just don't want to go on. I want to
stay." The Lord brought me to Matthew 17- the Mount of Transfiguration. I, like
Peter, caught a glimpse of the Lord's glory and wanted to pitch my tent and
stay there (Mt. 17:4). Like Peter, it's not yet time for me to pitch my tent.
There is much more to see, much more to do, much more that my heart needs to be
broken for.
So
Lord today I choose You. I pack up my bag, strap on my tent, and keep following
You. One day I will pitch my tent and stay in a place You will show me, but for
now I am content to seek glimpses of Your glory in all nations. There is much
to see, many to love, and many more tears to cry. My heart is still completely broken, but I am choosing to trust the Lord's heart towards me and His plan for me. And so we journey on.
QUICK TRAVEL UPDATE: I am now in Mexico City, after 40+ hours and three days of bus travel from Nicaragua to El Salvador to Guatemala to Mexico. We are leaving tomorrow afternoon to fly to Asia. We will first be flying to Thailand to debrief with the January '08 squad on Koh Samet island. After our debrief we will be traveling to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for our September ministry. Please be praying for our squad as we transition from Central American to Asia.
Oh, and here is one last fun video from our days off in Nicaragua...
As I look
into the faces of these three boys, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that
the Lord is raising them up to be powerful men of God who will be His warriors
within this community. Though each story is different, the same truth remains:
The Lord has a special and powerful calling on each of their lives.
The
Lord has put a burden for at least one of their three boys on the hearts of
each of my teammates and me. We have been praying for each of them daily and
have been woken up in the middle of the night several times to pray for them.
Each of us have had pictures from the Lord of them being raised up as pastors,
warriors, and men like David- a man after God's own heart.
All
of them have lives filled with brokenness, but in each situation the Lord is
showing Himself strong.
Anthony
is 13. Before coming to Christ, he had already dropped out of school because of
bad grades. He had quit believing that he was capable of doing much. He had
quit dreaming for his future. He was working a dangerous and illegal job in the
sugar cane fields to pay his mother's debt so they didn't lose their home. He
was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. The Lord is revealing
Himself to Anthony as the God who hears our hearts' cries and has big plans for
us. The Lord, through Linda and Tommy, have provided a safe job for Anthony and
he will begin school again in February. He is beginning to believe that the
Lord has a special plan for his life.
Andres
is also 13. He hasn't known the real love of a family. He doesn't know his
father. His mother left when he was really young and moved to Costa Rica. This
left Andres and his older brother Kerwin to be raised by their aunt. I get the
impression that they are more often overlooked than loved at home. It breaks my
heart! Andres is such a precious kid who is desperate for love and affection.
But the Lord is moving! He is a God who places the lonely in families
(Psalm 68:6) and He has provided a wonderful, loving couple as Andres &
Kerwin's supportive parents. I have also seen the Lord work this month to pull
Andres from the brink of a crossroads. Andres accepted Christ the week before
we arrived, but over the month was transformed from the kid sitting in the back
of the church goofin' off to sitting in the front row pouring out prayers to
the Lord, hands lifted in praise. The Lord is steadily changing Andres into a
strong, well-grounded man of God who knows his value in Christ.
Marlyn
just turned 14. He comes from an abusive home (sexually, physically, and
emotionally). He looked for love and belonging in gang life, but only found
more conditional love. "You are accepted if you do these things..." Now in
Christ he has found unconditional love and the difference radiates from his
new, life-filled smile. Marlyn understands more of the Lord's grace and
forgiveness than most Christians I know. As Jesus said, "He who has been
forgiven much, loves much" (Luke 7:47).
The
Lord, in His abundant mercy, saw these three friends either at a major
crossroads or already in over their heads. He pursued them and called them into
His grace and abundant life together (all coming to Christ within about a
month). Together they will grow in strength in Christ and learn to walk in His
truth. As I pray for them, I feel the Lord's calling on their lives. I prayed
Ephesians 6:10-18 over them, and as I prayed, I saw the Lord putting His armor
upon them and I saw them coming together battling for their community. The Lord
is raising up powerful men to lead Candelaria. I can see Him in their faces.
When I last
shared Marlyn's story, we had the chance to talk to him and offer a picture of
the Lord's grace. After that day we couldn't get rid of him. He would be one of
the first faces we saw each morning and one of the last faces we saw each
night. It was wonderful to see him accepted in the church, but he made things
more difficult. You never knew moment to moment what you would get from him-
you never knew if we would be friendly, ridiculous, or just angry. Also, we had
a couple of boys who had just accepted Christ, but when Marlyn was around they
didn't feel the freedom to be new creations. Marlyn made things difficult, but
the Lord gave us a deep love for him.
Our
last week, we were planning a beach day for the kids. One last day to celebrate
together with those we had been discipling. After much deliberation and debate,
we decided not to bring Marlyn. We couldn't trust him to be safe and to
listen to what he was told. Also we wanted our new Christians to have a safe
place to be themselves and to learn to walk in Christ together. Word got back
to Marlyn and he was furious! He wouldn't come near us or speak to us. That
night I was so burdened for him. I wanted to see his anger wiped away and to
see him find real life in Christ. I fell asleep that night praying that the
small pictures of grace he had seen this month would lead him to the far
greater grace of God. The next day Marlyn was still angry and refused to speak
to us. It was our last day in Candelaria and we hated to leave things like
that. We asked Linda to talk to Marlyn that night.
Linda
& Marlyn began to talk first about the beach, but then he opened up and
shared more. Our first week in Candelaria, about 3-4 days before the robbery,
Linda was sharing the gospel with Marlyn and asked if he was ready to accept
Christ. "No," he responded, "I'm not ready." Then he went home feeling really
bad about that decision and about himself. The next day he returned to talk to
Linda only to discover that she had gone to the States (she was there for 2 ½ weeks
on a family emergency). A couple of days later, he and his friend broke into
the clinic and stole our things. Marlyn told Linda he was afraid to come back
because he knew no one would ever forgive him. He couldn't believe it when we
not only forgave him, but befriended him and welcomed him with open arms. Linda
then explained that's what Jesus wants to do for you. He wants to forgive every
sin you've ever committed. He is waiting with open arms to accept and forgive
you. But you need to know that you can't just have part of God. If you accept
Christ, you have all of God and He takes over every part of your life. Marlyn
looked at her and said, "I am ready now." Our last night in Candelaria (which
happened to be his birthday), Marlyn accepted the grace of God! The change in
his countenance was drastic. For the first time, he looked at me with hope in
his eyes and not a trace of anger on his face. That night Marlyn stood in front
of 150 youth and told them that he, a notorious thief and one of the most feared
gang members in the community, had surrendered his life to Christ. It was
beautiful to see our kids' faces light up as they cheered for him. Then they
ran up and embraced him, laid hands on him, and passionately prayed for him. It
was beautiful to see this hurting kid finally find what his heart has been
searching for- love, acceptance, and family.
The
next day Marlyn had his first birthday party and received his first gift with
his new family in Christ. Then Marlyn was baptized right there on the beach.
This is the beautiful and amazing power of grace to transform lives!
We are all
standing around the water. Hands are lifted in praise. Songs of worship are
being sung forth to the Lord. My heart is overflowing with joy! Today is a very
special day. Today is the day that seven of our youth are testifying about
their commitment to the Lord through baptism. As each of these precious youth
stepped into the water the delight in my heart rose more and more.
First
was Jose. I was not surprised at all to see him going first. He has such
natural leadership abilities. He stepped forward in confidence in his
commitment to Christ and the change that has taken place in his life. I loved
watching him surrender to the Lord.
Next
came Itzel. This girl has captured my heart! She has the most beautiful
relationship with the Lord. She steps into the water with a huge smile lighting
up her face. She is radiating love for her Savior! She is always overflowing
with the Lord's love. It is her constant topic of conversation. I just love
watching what He is doing in her life.
Elizabeth
was next. She stepped forward quietly and calmly, which is so much like her. I
love how the baptisms display each individual's personality. The Lord is
growing Elizabeth steadily in knowledge of His Word and love for Him.
Kenia
has been quietly praying as she awaits her turn. She steps into the water very
solemnly still in an attitude of prayer. She listens intently as Tommy is
speaking to her. As she is raised from the water, raised to walk in newness of
life with Christ, the tears begin to flow. You can see on her face the
gratefulness that is overflowing from her heart. She is overwhelmed by the
Lord's goodness in her life.
Joel
comes after Kenia. His typical goofy smirk on his face showing the joyous
laughter he is trying to suppress. Joel is so excited to be solidifying this
covenant with the Lord. After his baptism, he allows himself to fall completely
into theembrace of the older guys who are praying over him. It is beautiful to
watch them pour out their love to Joel.
Andres
is next. He steps into the water with his usual boyish grin. I can't help but
smile with him. His baptism is especially dear to me because the Lord has given
me such a burden to pray for him this month. I have been praying for him
everyday for 3 weeks and have been woken up in the middle of the night on
several occasions to pray for him. He has just begun a relationship with the
Lord while we have been here and I have seen such a drastic change in him! I
have seen the Lord, in His mercy; pull Andres from a point of crossroads to
grace, joy, and life in Christ. As Andres is raised from the water, I feel the
tears slide down my cheeks. The Lord is doing a beautiful work here in
Candelaria! Andres comes out of the water with joyous laughter. I know the Lord
is raising him up to be a man like David, a man after God's own heart.
Anthony
is the last to be baptized. I am also overjoyed for him. He just made a
commitment to follow Christ on Thursday, two days before the baptism. I know
his life is being covered in prayer. He rises from the water with a smile on
his face; I know he can feel the love of Jesus for him.
After
the baptisms there is more worship. Everyone celebrating together the mercy of
the Lord displayed in the lives of these youth. I also had the opportunity to
pray over a few of the youth, first for Itzel and Jose and then for Kenia and
Andres. It was an incredible moment to embrace them, lay hands on them, and
pray blessing and the filling of the Holy Spirit over them.
I don't know how to express the overwhelming emotions I feel
on this day. My team and I have been pouring into the lives of these youth
everyday for the last 4½ weeks. It is so amazingly beautiful to a part of this
commitment that they are making. Tears of joy spill out as love for the
precious teens fills my heart to overflowing.
Along
with our relationships with the youth, we have been so blessed with a
relationship with the Pastor Jose's family during the time that we have been
here.
Jose is such a father figure. Ever since
we arrived in Candelaria, he has been looking out for us. He stops us every
time we leave the property to find out where we are going and to tell us to be
careful. He is also one of the most expressive people I have met! His joy and
passion for this church constantly overflows! I am most going to miss hearing
him saying, "Bueno, bueno, bueno" at the beginning of each sentence.
Bonita is a beautiful woman of God who is
constantly serving her family and the people of this church. I have never seen
her when she isn't serving in some way and I have also never seen her beautiful
smile leave her face. I believe she thinks that we American girls cannot cook
at all because every time we enter the kitchen she just takes over for us. I am
most going to miss her smile.
Kayla is hilarious and an extraordinary
cook! We have been so blessed to have her cooking our meals each day. She has a
great deal of responsibility with her family and raising two sons as a single
mom. She is constantly working either cooking, caring for her sons, or studying
for school. However, she always makes time to joke and laugh with us! We even
had a concert to great classic 80's songs (which they LOVE in Nicaragua!) We
have had so much fun shopping with her and learning more Spanish from her. I am
most going to miss her cooking and laughing with her everyday!
Darlene is one of the sweetest girls I have
met here. She has a beautiful smile and a heart for worship. She was the first
one to welcome us when we arrived. And is the only person to come for sleepovers
at the clinic where we are staying. I will most miss her joyful personality and
her sweet presence.
Deyanira
is another lovely
girl who just radiates joy. She is the youngest of the Pastor's daughters. Deya
has finished beauty school and is always giving makeovers to the girls in the
community. Everyone who comes to her walks away feeling beautiful! I am most
going to miss her bright smile and big hugs.
Marjorie has helped us out by serving as our
translator on many occasions. She is always laughing and joking with everyone.
Although she is always seen with a smile on her face, she is covering up deep
pain in her heart. She was married about a year ago and less than a month after
the wedding he had the opportunity to join his family in the United States. She
is hoping to join him, but it takes so long to get the paperwork settled for
that to happen. They have spent almost their entire married life separated.
Pray that they may be reunited soon. I love that even though her feels so much
heartache over being separated from her husband, Marjorie is always making
others smile and is always bubbling over joy. I just love her so much! I am
most going to miss hearing her say "Ladies" and her interviewing skills.
Arial is the oldest of Kayla's sons (8)
and for some reason he really loves me. The first day we arrived, he fell into
my arms and gave me a big hug and he has been attached to my hip ever since. He
is a really fiery kid who loves to play sports with the other boys. He is a
great athlete and is an especially great soccer goalie even against kids twice
his age. I am most going to miss my constant affection from him and hearing him
clap during church (it's so loud that everyone around him stops and stares for
a second before continuing to worship).
Alberito
is the youngest of
Kayla's sons (almost 2) and can almost always been seen running around the
property completely naked. He is definitely a momma's boy always hugging on
Kayla. Finally in the last week he has opened up to us, but we have had to work
very hard at his friendship. I am most going to miss hearing him yell, "Hey"
and trying to figure out each day whether he likes us or not.
Itzel is a lovely 15-year-old girl. The
Lord has given me such a love for her from the first day we met. Over the last
couple months, she has faced a lot of pain as her father left their family for
another woman. However, the Lord has worked in her pain. He has used this
situation to reveal Himself as a Father who loves perfectly and who never
leaves or forsakes us. The first day I met Itzel she said, "Only God is my
boyfriend. I love Him so much! Jesus gives me many kisses every day." This
beautiful young woman has amazing intimacy with the Lord and longs to share His
love with her peers and one day with the nations. I am most going to miss my
conversations about the Lord's love with Itzel.
Kenia is another beautiful young lady who
recently dedicated her life to serving the Lord. She is always bubbling over with joy and gives great hugs! I was privileged to pray over her
following her baptism, and I just felt the presence of the Lord resting on her
in a powerful and special way. I know that the Lord wants to use her in a huge
way to impact this community. I am most going to miss watching Kenia worship
during church each night.
I know you
aren't supposed to have favorites, but I still do and Andres is mine. He doesn't know his father
and for some reason his mom is living in Costa Rica leaving Andres and his
brother to be raised by their aunt. When we arrived in Candelaria, I could
sense that Andres was at a real crossroads in his life, choosing either to
follow the Lord wholeheartedly or to follow the footsteps of most men in the
community. I was told when we arrived that he had no interest in becoming a
Christian. The Lord really laid a burden on my heart for Andres and I began
praying for him daily. In the time that we have been in Candelaria, the Lord
has been pursuing Andres. He has now made a decision to follow Christ and was
baptized on Saturday. I have seen such a drastic change in him over the past
few weeks. He is just precious! He is so patient with my attempts at Spanish
and the Nicaraguan games I have been learning. He is also really compassionate
and caring. I just see the Lord raising Andres up to be a man after His own
heart and a warrior for this community. I am most going to miss my daily hugs
from Andres (he gives the BEST hugs) and constantly laughing and playing games
with him.
Anthony is another kid that I have really
seen at a crossroads in his life. Just last Thursday he made a decision to follow Christ and was also baptized on Saturday. Anthony is hilarious and has
such leadership potential, but he also has no dreams for his life. He is no
longer in school because of bad grades and doesn't seem to have much hope that his
life will amount to much. I am praying that through his new life in Christ,
Anthony's hope will be restored and that he will find his place within the
kingdom of God. I am most going to miss Anthony's funny sayings ("La verdad, La
verdad") and the way he always pulls up his hair in a ponytail right in front
of his head.
Joel is such a funny kid! He is a
goofball and always loves the camera! He was one of the first youth that we met
in Candelaria and he was been faithfully attending our Bible study each Tuesday
and Thursday. He also just recently accepted Christ and was baptized on
Saturday. I am most going to miss his hilarious laugh!
Jose is one of the older youth at 19. He
has a great smile and loves to worship in song and dance. He has been very
excited about learning salsa and other types of dance from us as well. He has
such natural leadership abilities. I am most going to miss his smile and doing
dances with him during worship.
Elizabeth is another of our youth who
recently accepted Christ and was baptized on Saturday. She has a hunger for the
Word of God. She has been faithfully attending Bible study and is learning the
new scriptures each week. Elizabeth also has a heart for kids and helps in a
kindergarten class. I was able to go with her and teach one day. I loved seeing
her patience and caring for each student. I am most going to miss seeing
Elizabeth dance on Friday nights. She is a great dancer!
Katherine
is Itzel's older
sister. She is also a beautiful girl with a big heart and a wonderful smile.
She is really seeking the Lord right now, but feels like she needs more time
before she is ready to commit completely to Him. Pray that the Lord will reveal
Himself to her in a way that she cannot resist. Pray for healing in her heart
in regards to her father leaving. Pray for her to come to rest in the Lord's
love for her. I am most going to miss her sweet presence and kind smile.
Rigoberto is really an amazing man of God! He
is the only Christian in his family, which is difficult, but he continues to
share the love and hope of Christ with his family. Rigoberto also has a passion
for helping the church and has been one of the guys sleeping at the church each
night to protect the church property and us. He has a heart to see the Holy
Spirit sweep through this community. I also loved watching him on Saturday
praying over the youth who had just been baptized. It was beautiful to see a
more mature Christian pouring into the lives of our youth. I am most going to
miss his heart for worship and for the church. I love seeing his face light up
when he sings or talks about the Lord.
Bismark is another leader among the youth.
I love to see how he longs to protect and defend the church within the community. I also love to watch him caring for and playing with the kids and
young teenagers. The young boys really look up to him. It was so incredible to
see him just completely embracing the young boys who had been baptized and
praying over them. I am most going to miss watching him play with Alberito and
the other young kids.
Marlyn is the kid who broke into our home.
His life is so broken and my heart just breaks for him. I know that the Lord is
pursuing him. There is something at this church that he knows he needs because
he can't stay away. Please continue to pray that the Lord will draw Marlyn into
His loving embrace. Pray that the pictures of grace that we were able to offer
him will reveal God's much larger grace and forgiveness for Marlyn. I will most
miss his mischievous smirk right before he tells a joke or says something
ridiculous.
I am leaving a huge piece of my heart here in Candelaria
with these youth! I haven't felt this attached to any place since I went to
Kenya. I love these kids with all of my heart and I can't imagine leaving them
on Friday.
Stay tuned
for more reasons why I love Candelaria in Part 2 of this blog.
We are all gathered around our small family table. Everyone is silent. No one knows where to begin. The Kiatera girls, along with Tommy (our contact) and Oscar (the translator), are finally sitting face to face with Marlyn (the boy who stole our belongings). We have prayed for this opportunity, but how do you begin to share your heart?
Suddenly the silence is broken by Tommy who looks directly into this young kid's eyes and says, "What you did was wrong. Linda and I helped you and you stole from us, you stole from our friends. What you did was wrong, but I forgive you. The Lord has forgiven me so much and I choose to forgive you. He has been good to me and so I choose to be good to you. The $1000 cordobas that you stole from [Krystle] I will repay that debt for you. I am showing you love and mercy. Do the same for others."
What a beautiful picture of the Lord's grace! Yes, the Lord requires justice; the debt of our sins must be paid. But God, in his abounding mercy, paid our debt in full through the death of Jesus on the cross. Praise be to the Lord for His mercy and grace!
Then we each got a turn to offer grace and forgiveness to Marlyn, to share the Lord's love with him, and at the end to gather around a pray over him. As we finished praying, he left our home with tears in his eyes. We prayed that today he would truly experience the Lord's grace and love for him and that the tears on his cheeks would be the beginning of washing away his old life.
Please continue to pray for Marlyn- for real change in his life and that he will come to relationship with Christ. Also, please contine to pray for this community that we love so much.
We have been priviledged to be a part of life in Candelaria over the last couple weeks. This community has been a picture of the Acts 2 church to me.
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. ~Acts 2:42-44
We have had the opportunity to step into life with this community and discover that church is more than a building. Church is a body of believers living in a community of grace and love for the glory of God. This video will show a little bit of what being the church has looked like for us during our first 2 weeks in Candelaria, Nicaragua. Enjoy!
This blog is dedicated to my Starbucks baristas & customers and to Tracy because she shares my love of coffee.
On our first real day off in Nicaragua we traveled up to the mountains to visit Selva Negra, a Nicaraguan coffee plantation. It was so much fun!! We got to learn about their coffee, ride horses through the plantation, and I got to break out my barista skills and do a coffee tasting with the Kiatera girls (I knew those Starbucks skills would come in handy around the world!) Here is a video from our trip.
Over the last two months, it has been impossible to separate my own journey from that of my Kiatera sisters. I want you all to have the chance to really get to know my sisters. This video will allow you to hear how hearts, how we ended up on the World Race, and what the Lord is teaching us. These lovely ladies are amazing women of God and I am so blessed to be a part of this family this year.