Saying goodbye to our youth in Candelaria was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. In fact, if Nicaragua had been my last stop on the Race, I just wouldn't have come home. My heart is just completely broken over leaving them! I cried more times in our last three days there than I can count and almost the entire bus ride from Nicaragua to El Salvador. I know the Lord is taking care of our kids. I already see Him rising up others to disciple these precious kids, but my heart longs to just stay with them, love them, and disciple them. 

            I sat on a bus, with tears streaming down my face, telling the Lord, "I just don't have the strength to do this. I don't have the strength to love this deeply every month and hurt this much at the end of each month!" Yes you do. I will increase your capacity to love. "Well then what if I just don't want to go on. I want to stay." The Lord brought me to Matthew 17- the Mount of Transfiguration. I, like Peter, caught a glimpse of the Lord's glory and wanted to pitch my tent and stay there (Mt. 17:4). Like Peter, it's not yet time for me to pitch my tent. There is much more to see, much more to do, much more that my heart needs to be broken for.

            So Lord today I choose You. I pack up my bag, strap on my tent, and keep following You. One day I will pitch my tent and stay in a place You will show me, but for now I am content to seek glimpses of Your glory in all nations. There is much to see, many to love, and many more tears to cry. My heart is still completely broken, but I am choosing to trust the Lord's heart towards me and His plan for me. And so we journey on. 

QUICK TRAVEL UPDATE: I am now in Mexico City, after 40+ hours and three days of bus travel from Nicaragua to El Salvador to Guatemala to Mexico. We are leaving tomorrow afternoon to fly to Asia. We will first be flying to Thailand to debrief with the January '08 squad on Koh Samet island. After our debrief we will be traveling to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for our September ministry. Please be praying for our squad as we transition from Central American to Asia. 

Oh, and here is one last fun video from our days off in Nicaragua... 

           As I look into the faces of these three boys, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord is raising them up to be powerful men of God who will be His warriors within this community. Though each story is different, the same truth remains: The Lord has a special and powerful calling on each of their lives.

            The Lord has put a burden for at least one of their three boys on the hearts of each of my teammates and me. We have been praying for each of them daily and have been woken up in the middle of the night several times to pray for them. Each of us have had pictures from the Lord of them being raised up as pastors, warriors, and men like David- a man after God's own heart.

            All of them have lives filled with brokenness, but in each situation the Lord is showing Himself strong.

            Anthony is 13. Before coming to Christ, he had already dropped out of school because of bad grades. He had quit believing that he was capable of doing much. He had quit dreaming for his future. He was working a dangerous and illegal job in the sugar cane fields to pay his mother's debt so they didn't lose their home. He was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. The Lord is revealing Himself to Anthony as the God who hears our hearts' cries and has big plans for us. The Lord, through Linda and Tommy, have provided a safe job for Anthony and he will begin school again in February. He is beginning to believe that the Lord has a special plan for his life.

            Andres is also 13. He hasn't known the real love of a family. He  doesn't know his father. His mother left when he was really young and moved to Costa Rica. This left Andres and his older brother Kerwin to be raised by their aunt. I get the impression that they are more often overlooked than loved at home. It breaks my heart! Andres is such a precious kid who is desperate for love and affection. But the Lord is moving! He is a God who places the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and He has provided a wonderful, loving couple as Andres & Kerwin's supportive parents. I have also seen the Lord work this month to pull Andres from the brink of a crossroads. Andres accepted Christ the week before we arrived, but over the month was transformed from the kid sitting in the back of the church goofin' off to sitting in the front row pouring out prayers to the Lord, hands lifted in praise. The Lord is steadily changing Andres into a strong, well-grounded man of God who knows his value in Christ.

            Marlyn just turned 14. He comes from an abusive home (sexually, physically, and emotionally). He looked for love and belonging in gang life, but only found more conditional love. "You are accepted if you do these things..." Now in Christ he has found unconditional love and the difference radiates from his new, life-filled smile. Marlyn understands more of the Lord's grace and forgiveness than most Christians I know. As Jesus said, "He who has been forgiven much, loves much" (Luke 7:47).

            The Lord, in His abundant mercy, saw these three friends either at a major crossroads or already in over their heads. He pursued them and called them into His grace and abundant life together (all coming to Christ within about a month). Together they will grow in strength in Christ and learn to walk in His truth. As I pray for them, I feel the Lord's calling on their lives. I prayed Ephesians 6:10-18 over them, and as I prayed, I saw the Lord putting His armor upon them and I saw them coming together battling for their community. The Lord is raising up powerful men to lead Candelaria. I can see Him in their faces.   

      When I last shared Marlyn's story, we had the chance to talk to him and offer a picture of the Lord's grace. After that day we couldn't get rid of him. He would be one of the first faces we saw each morning and one of the last faces we saw each night. It was wonderful to see him accepted in the church, but he made things more difficult. You never knew moment to moment what you would get from him- you never knew if we would be friendly, ridiculous, or just angry. Also, we had a couple of boys who had just accepted Christ, but when Marlyn was around they didn't feel the freedom to be new creations. Marlyn made things difficult, but the Lord gave us a deep love for him.

            Our last week, we were planning a beach day for the kids. One last day to celebrate together with those we had been discipling. After much deliberation and debate, we decided not to bring Marlyn. We couldn't trust him to be safe and to listen to what he was told. Also we wanted our new Christians to have a safe place to be themselves and to learn to walk in Christ together. Word got back to Marlyn and he was furious! He wouldn't come near us or speak to us. That night I was so burdened for him. I wanted to see his anger wiped away and to see him find real life in Christ. I fell asleep that night praying that the small pictures of grace he had seen this month would lead him to the far greater grace of God. The next day Marlyn was still angry and refused to speak to us. It was our last day in Candelaria and we hated to leave things like that. We asked Linda to talk to Marlyn that night.

            Linda & Marlyn began to talk first about the beach, but then he opened up and shared more. Our first week in Candelaria, about 3-4 days before the robbery, Linda was sharing the gospel with Marlyn and asked if he was ready to accept Christ. "No," he responded, "I'm not ready." Then he went home feeling really bad about that decision and about himself. The next day he returned to talk to Linda only to discover that she had gone to the States (she was there for 2 ½ weeks on a family emergency). A couple of days later, he and his friend broke into the clinic and stole our things. Marlyn told Linda he was afraid to come back because he knew no one would ever forgive him. He couldn't believe it when we not only forgave him, but befriended him and welcomed him with open arms. Linda then explained that's what Jesus wants to do for you. He wants to forgive every sin you've ever committed. He is waiting with open arms to accept and forgive you. But you need to know that you can't just have part of God. If you accept Christ, you have all of God and He takes over every part of your life. Marlyn looked at her and said, "I am ready now." Our last night in Candelaria (which happened to be his birthday), Marlyn accepted the grace of God! The change in his countenance was drastic. For the first time, he looked at me with hope in his eyes and not a trace of anger on his face. That night Marlyn stood in front of 150 youth and told them that he, a notorious thief and one of the most feared gang members in the community, had surrendered his life to Christ. It was beautiful to see our kids' faces light up as they cheered for him. Then they ran up and embraced him, laid hands on him, and passionately prayed for him. It was beautiful to see this hurting kid finally find what his heart has been searching for- love, acceptance, and family.

            The next day Marlyn had his first birthday party and received his first gift with his new family in Christ. Then Marlyn was baptized right there on the beach. This is the beautiful and amazing power of grace to transform lives!  

        We are all standing around the water. Hands are lifted in praise. Songs of worship are being sung forth to the Lord. My heart is overflowing with joy! Today is a very special day. Today is the day that seven of our youth are testifying about their commitment to the Lord through baptism. As each of these precious youth stepped into the water the delight in my heart rose more and more.

            First was Jose. I was not surprised at all to see him going first. He has such natural leadership abilities. He stepped forward in confidence in his commitment to Christ and the change that has taken place in his life. I loved watching him surrender to the Lord.

            Next came Itzel. This girl has captured my heart! She has the most beautiful relationship with the Lord. She  steps  into the water with a huge smile lighting up her face. She is radiating love for her Savior! She is always overflowing with the Lord's love. It is her constant topic of conversation. I just love watching what He is doing in her life.

            Elizabeth was next. She stepped forward quietly and calmly, which is so much like her. I love how the baptisms display each individual's personality. The Lord is growing Elizabeth steadily in knowledge of His Word and love for Him.

            Kenia has been quietly praying as she awaits her turn. She steps into the water very solemnly still in an attitude of prayer. She listens intently as Tommy is speaking to her. As  she is raised from the water, raised to walk in newness of life with Christ, the tears begin to flow. You can see on her face the gratefulness that is overflowing from her heart. She is overwhelmed by the Lord's goodness in her life.

            Joel comes after Kenia. His typical goofy smirk on his face showing the joyous laughter he is trying to suppress. Joel is so excited to be solidifying this covenant with the Lord. After his baptism, he allows himself to fall completely into theembrace of the older guys who are praying over him. It is beautiful to watch them pour out their love to Joel.

            Andres is next. He steps into the water with his usual boyish grin. I can't help but smile with him. His baptism is especially dear to me because the Lord has given me such a burden to pray for him this month. I have been praying for him everyday for 3 weeks and have been woken up in the middle of the night on several occasions to pray for him. He has just  begun a relationship with the Lord while we have been here and I have seen such a drastic change in him! I have seen the Lord, in His mercy; pull Andres from a point of crossroads to grace, joy, and life in Christ. As Andres is raised from the water, I feel the tears slide down my cheeks. The Lord is doing a beautiful work here in Candelaria! Andres comes out of the water with joyous laughter. I know the Lord is raising him up to be a man like David, a man after God's own heart.

            Anthony is the last to be baptized. I am also overjoyed for him. He just made a commitment to follow Christ on Thursday, two days before the baptism. I know his life is being covered in prayer. He rises from the water with a smile on his face; I know he can feel the love of Jesus for him.

            After the baptisms there is more worship. Everyone celebrating together the mercy of the Lord displayed in the lives of these youth. I also had the opportunity to pray over a  few of the youth, first for Itzel and Jose and then for Kenia and Andres. It was an incredible moment to embrace them, lay hands on them, and pray blessing and the filling of the Holy Spirit over them.

I don't know how to express the overwhelming emotions I feel on this day. My team and I have been pouring into the lives of these youth everyday for the last 4½ weeks. It is so amazingly beautiful to a part of this commitment that they are making. Tears of joy spill out as love for the precious teens fills my heart to overflowing. 

           Along with our relationships with the youth, we have been so blessed with a relationship with the Pastor Jose's family during the time that we have been here.

Jose is such a father figure. Ever since we arrived in Candelaria, he has been looking out for us. He stops us every time we leave the property to find out where we are going and to tell us to be careful. He is also one of the most expressive people I have met! His joy and passion for this church constantly overflows! I am most going to miss  hearing him saying, "Bueno, bueno, bueno" at the beginning of each sentence.

Bonita is a beautiful woman of God who is constantly serving her family and the people of this church. I have never seen her when she isn't serving in some way and I have also never seen her beautiful smile leave her face. I believe she thinks that we American girls cannot cook at all because every time we enter the kitchen she just takes over for us. I am most going to miss her smile.

Kayla is hilarious and an extraordinary cook! We have been so blessed to have her cooking our meals each day.  She has a great deal of responsibility with her family and raising two sons as a single mom. She is constantly working either cooking, caring for her sons, or studying for school. However, she always makes time to joke and laugh with us! We even had a concert to great classic 80's songs (which they LOVE in Nicaragua!) We have had so much fun shopping with her and learning more Spanish from her. I am most going to miss her cooking and laughing with her everyday!

 Darlene is one of the sweetest girls I have met here. She has a beautiful smile and a heart for worship. She was the first one to welcome us when we arrived. And is the only person to come for sleepovers at the clinic where we are staying. I will most miss her joyful personality and her sweet presence.

Deyanira is another lovely girl who just radiates joy. She is the youngest of the Pastor's daughters. Deya has finished beauty school and is always giving makeovers to the girls in the community. Everyone who comes to her walks away feeling beautiful! I am most going to miss her bright smile and big hugs.

 Marjorie has helped us out by serving as our translator on many occasions. She is always laughing and joking with everyone. Although she is always seen with a smile on her face, she is covering up deep pain in her heart. She was married about a year ago and less than a month after the wedding he had the opportunity to join his family in the United States. She is hoping to join him, but it takes so long to get the paperwork settled for that to happen. They have spent almost their entire married life separated. Pray that they may be reunited soon. I love that even though her feels so much heartache over being separated from her husband, Marjorie is always making others smile and is always bubbling over joy. I just love her so much! I am most going to miss hearing her say "Ladies" and her interviewing skills.

Arial is the oldest of Kayla's sons (8) and for some reason he really loves me. The first day we arrived, he fell into my arms and gave me a big hug and he has been attached to my hip ever since. He is a really fiery kid who loves to play sports with the other boys. He is a great athlete and is an especially great soccer goalie even against kids twice his age. I am most going to miss my constant affection from him and hearing him clap during church (it's so loud that everyone around him stops and stares for a second before continuing to worship).

 Alberito is the youngest of Kayla's sons (almost 2) and can almost always been seen running around the property completely naked. He is definitely a momma's boy always hugging on Kayla. Finally in the last week he has opened up to us, but we have had to work very hard at his friendship. I am most going to miss hearing him yell, "Hey" and trying to figure out each day whether he likes us or not.  

Why I Love Candelaria (Part 1 ~ The Youth)

 Itzel is a lovely 15-year-old girl. The Lord has given me such a love for her from the first day we met. Over the last couple months, she has faced a lot of pain as her father left their family for another woman. However, the Lord has worked in her pain. He has used this situation to reveal Himself as a Father who loves perfectly and who never leaves or forsakes us. The first day I met Itzel she said, "Only God is my boyfriend. I love Him so much! Jesus gives me many kisses every day." This beautiful young woman has amazing intimacy with the Lord and longs to share His love with her peers and one day with the nations. I am most going to miss my conversations about the Lord's love with Itzel. 

Kenia is another beautiful young lady who recently dedicated her life to serving the Lord. She is always bubbling over with joy and gives great hugs! I was privileged to pray over her following her baptism, and I just felt the presence of the Lord resting on her in a powerful and special way. I know that the Lord wants to use her in a huge way to impact this community. I am most going to miss watching Kenia worship during church each night. 

 I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, but I still do and Andres is mine. He doesn't know his father and for some reason his mom is living in Costa Rica leaving Andres and his brother to be raised by their aunt. When we arrived in Candelaria, I could sense that Andres was at a real crossroads in his life, choosing either to follow the Lord wholeheartedly or to follow the footsteps of most men in the community. I was told when we arrived that he had no interest in becoming a Christian. The Lord really laid a burden on my heart for Andres and I began praying for him daily. In the time that we have been in Candelaria, the Lord has been pursuing Andres. He has now made a decision to follow Christ and was baptized on Saturday. I have seen such a drastic change in him over the past few weeks. He is just precious! He is so patient with my attempts at Spanish and the Nicaraguan games I have been learning. He is also really compassionate and caring. I just see the Lord raising Andres up to be a man after His own heart and a warrior for this community. I am most going to miss my daily hugs from Andres (he gives the BEST hugs) and constantly laughing and playing games with him.   

Anthony is another kid that I have really seen at a crossroads in his life. Just last Thursday he made a decision to follow Christ and was also baptized on Saturday. Anthony is hilarious and has such leadership potential, but he also has no dreams for his life. He is no longer in school because of bad grades and doesn't seem to have much hope that his life will amount to much. I am praying that through his new life in Christ, Anthony's hope will be restored and that he will find his place within the kingdom of God. I am most going to miss Anthony's funny sayings ("La verdad, La verdad") and the way he always pulls up his hair in a ponytail right in front of his head. 

 Joel is such a funny kid! He is a goofball and always loves the camera! He was one of the first youth that we met in Candelaria and he was been faithfully attending our Bible study each Tuesday and Thursday. He also just recently accepted Christ and was baptized on Saturday. I am most going to miss his hilarious laugh!   

Jose is one of the older youth at 19. He has a great smile and loves to worship in song and dance. He has been very excited about learning salsa and other types of dance from us as well. He has such natural leadership abilities. I am most going to miss his smile and doing dances with him during worship. 

 Elizabeth is another of our youth who recently accepted Christ and was baptized on Saturday. She has a hunger for the Word of God. She has been faithfully attending Bible study and is learning the new scriptures each week. Elizabeth also has a heart for kids and helps in a kindergarten class. I was able to go with her and teach one day. I loved seeing her patience and caring for each student. I am most going to miss seeing Elizabeth dance on Friday nights. She is a great dancer!

Katherine is Itzel's older sister. She is also a beautiful girl with a big heart and a wonderful smile. She is really seeking the Lord right now, but feels like she needs more time before she is ready to commit completely to Him. Pray that the Lord will reveal Himself to her in a way that she cannot resist. Pray for healing in her heart in regards to her father leaving. Pray for her to come to rest in the Lord's love for her. I am most going to miss her sweet presence and kind smile.

 Rigoberto is really an amazing man of God! He is the only Christian in his family, which is difficult, but he continues to share the love and hope of Christ with his family. Rigoberto also has a passion for helping the church and has been one of the guys sleeping at the church each night to protect the church property and us. He has a heart to see the Holy Spirit sweep through this community. I also loved watching him on Saturday praying over the youth who had just been baptized. It was beautiful to see a more mature Christian pouring into the lives of our youth. I am most going to miss his heart for worship and for the church. I love seeing his face light up when he sings or talks about the Lord.   

Bismark is another leader among the youth. I love to see how he longs to protect and defend the church within the community. I also love to watch him caring for and playing with the kids and young teenagers. The young boys really look up to him. It was so incredible to see him just completely embracing the young boys who had been baptized and praying over them. I am most going to miss watching him play with Alberito and the other young kids.

 Marlyn is the kid who broke into our home. His life is so broken and my heart just breaks for him. I know that the Lord is pursuing him. There is something at this church that he knows he needs because he can't stay away. Please continue to pray that the Lord will draw Marlyn into His loving embrace. Pray that the pictures of grace that we were able to offer him will reveal God's much larger grace and forgiveness for Marlyn. I will most miss his mischievous smirk right before he tells a joke or says something ridiculous.  

I am leaving a huge piece of my heart here in Candelaria with these youth! I haven't felt this attached to any place since I went to Kenya. I love these kids with all of my heart and I can't imagine leaving them on Friday. 

Stay tuned for more reasons why I love Candelaria in Part 2 of this blog.